Pain

Yes this post is about me, my mistakes.  And that’s ok
But it’s also about the pain we cause others.  This is not about redemption or absolution.

Pain is what I’ve been bringing to people for decades. The pain of my past, the pain of my fustration, the pain that I see looking at the r
Future.

Most know that I’ve been struggling, one day at a time and all that.  A person thinks they hide it all, warts, mistakes, mis taken staps.

I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t have much of a guide, but this is my path and I have to own it.

So on this path
It’s been a long road of wondering what I should do when faced with a hard decision.

For the last few years it’s been trying to take the gentle slower path, as I grew up only trying to go head first into most confrontational situations.
I’ve been working hard on just letting go.
And I’ve changed a great deal of who I am.

But the tricky thing is when  life deals you a shit hand.
Shit happens and the stress goes balistic.

That’s when I should have l let go, to relax.

But in a  night of insanity that all fell apart.

So how does that impact me,  I’m fucked up, struggling.

But this is not about me, the post is pain. Not mine

It’s about how I destroyed a working but fragile relationship.

How a recovering alchohic laid hands on the one thing he respected and loved.

This pain is not mine, but I created it.  The pain I have is mine alone.