Catfood and sadness

I’ve never been this low before, yes I’ve smashed bottom a few times but not like this.
I’m wondering if I can climb out of this one,  or even if I should.

Yes my life has been a rocky jagged path. Full of highs and lows that most NORMAL people might laugh or sigh at. But this is something new.
Can’t eat can’t sleep, just one day after another of grief, guilt and shame.

I’ve been talking as we are supposed to do, my psychologist, my councillor and surprisingly even a priest. True friends.

But I can’t let it go, the pain, what I did.  That’s not me, or who I wanted to be.  I’ve changed so much, and fallen so far.

I don’t know why I’m even writing this except for myself. 
One moment that changes a life for life. That one regret I’ll never forget.  There will be no sleep in here tonight.

I’m sorry