Life is never easy, it throws us all curveballs and leaves us with things we wish we could say to the people we love the most.
When my Brother Brent was dying of cancer I never knew how little time we had left together and I left things unsaid and I wish I would have had the foresight to express that love and respect that I have for him to this day.
As my Dad lingered on and on, my partner and I were ready to jump in the car at a moments notice, bags were packed and plans were made. I got to tell my Dad how I felt about him and he was able to express it back in ways that men of his generation rarely are able to do. When he passed it was a blessing in a way that his suffering was over.
Other circumstances also get in the way of expressing how we feel towards those who we love the most. Life gets in the way, little grievances turn with time into bigger blocks to a healthy relationship. I think of a strained relationship with my daughter.
How we react, our choices, my choices in particular have had devestating consequences in my life. A litany of failed relationships, regrets old and new. Hurt to others and myself that could have had fatal outcomes. I’m not a perfect man, I have made huge strides in becoming a better person and dealing with my personal demons and mental wellbeing. But as I look back on the relationships I have stated and others that I have not I know that I need to keep on my path to wellness and becoming a better more understanding Son, Brother, Father and Partner.
To those in my life, family and others know that I love you.
Brent, Dad, Mom, Kendra, Mykayla, Partners.