Ok, I’ve stayed silent enough but tonight the gloves are off. I’ve seen Santa turned into an avenger this year. I’ve seen has been hacks from Saturday Night Live playing moronic elves in movies. Hell I even put up with Linus getting his blanket back in a “new” Holiday special. This I can live with.
However what I cannot abide is re-branding or should I say requisitioning of the holiday classics from my childhood to new corporate masters. Yes I get that the classic Christmas shorts from our childhood are awesome property to acquire and license the fuck out of but why in all that is good and holy in this time of year would you turn a half hour cherished Christmas special into a miserable 60 minute shlock-athon for Macy’s.
Really Macy’s you own it all in half of the country anyways, you have the parades the storefronts . Do you really need Rodolph the Red Nosed Reindeer too? Do we need to stop in between frames of duologue so you can shill medium grade cookware?
The season is commercial enough. Just lay back like the whores you are, open your doors and have a fucking sale. Don’t ruin Christmas for everyone, by having a damn commercial every three minutes in a children’s show in prime time.
I’m done, everybody carry on shopping.
- My Favorite Kinda Messed-Up Christmas Songs (persephonemagazine.com)
- A Jewish parent’s guide to Christmas specials (denverpost.com)