Happy Christmas

I was just going to blow this post off this week and mail it in from last years Christmas post but this year I just can’t.  My heart is broken, like many of you out there by the tragedy of last week.

Speaking as a hunter and gun owner, I cannot put into words the outrage I feel.  As a child growing up in a Northern Ontario town I lived around rifles, they did not protect us but the certainly did feed us.  We used projectile weapons that were designed to KILL.  Not humans but, deer and moose that lived in our surroundings.  Large bore, big caliber, weapons to take a ton and a half animal out with the least stress possible.  I layman’s terms a clean kill.

I have been the murderer of hundreds of birds, and a great few mammals.  I have never killed a big beast like a deer or moose.  Although I have certainly tried.I have stalked beasts larger than me holding a gun that would have put the average human through a plate glass window.  I am a stone cold killer.

But before I stop and tell you why I wouldn’t unload on a classroom of kids let me tell you why I stopped hunting.

A few years ago I was hunting deer and rabbit with a very deer friend of mine.  I caught sight of a bunny on the hop.   I am a very good shot, but I missed just a tad.  Caught the sucker in the leg.   It started crying and limped off into a stand of willows.  I knew I had to do it.  The rabbit was suffering.  So I pulled the trigger close up and personal.  That very night I ate him.

That is hunting.

What that other strange fuck did is so counter culture to me. He slaughtered kids.

So in this season of giving and Ho Ho Ho.  Please remember the little things.  All of my friends have a very Merry Christmas and a Wicked New Year.

Santa Bob

 

 

Corprorate agenda quit fucking up Christmas!

Ok, I’ve stayed silent enough but tonight the gloves are off. I’ve seen Santa turned into an avenger this year.  I’ve seen has been hacks from Saturday Night Live playing moronic elves in movies.  Hell I even put up with Linus getting his blanket back in a “new” Holiday special.  This I can live with.

However what I cannot abide is  re-branding or should I say requisitioning of the holiday classics from my childhood to new corporate masters.  Yes I get that the classic Christmas shorts from our childhood are awesome property to acquire and license the fuck out of but why in all that is good and holy in this time of year would you turn a half hour cherished Christmas special into a miserable 60 minute shlock-athon  for Macy’s.

Really Macy’s you own it all in half of the country anyways, you have the parades the storefronts .  Do you really need Rodolph the Red Nosed Reindeer too?  Do we need to stop in between frames of duologue so you can shill medium grade cookware?

The season is commercial enough.  Just lay back like the whores you are, open your doors and have a fucking sale.  Don’t ruin Christmas for everyone, by having a damn commercial every three minutes in a children’s show in prime time.

I’m done, everybody carry on shopping.

Related articles

• My Favorite Kinda Messed-Up Christmas Songs (persephonemagazine.com)
• A Jewish parent’s guide to Christmas specials (denverpost.com)

 

Winter? What’s that?

Ok, people I am officially freaked out. Here we are in Winnipeg in middle of winter and the snow is melting.  Nikki I have been a big fan of the whole global warming thing but come on this is unreal.

For the record the normal temperature in Winnipeg, Manitoba for this time of year is somewhere around -15 C.  Not too bad for us hardened Canucks but generally this time of year dips to -30 are more than normal.

The temperature in Winnipeg today +7C.  Freaking unheard of, folks are golfing just south of us in North Dakota.  In January people!!!

If it keeps up like this Santa and his band of Elves are going to be melted out of a job.  Not to mention the Polar Bears who are being starved out of existence by the shrinking sea ice.

Yes I’m all for a nice mild winter in Winnipeg where by now we are normally up to our ball sacks in snow and frozen solid like those little Russian stacking dolls but this is freaking me out.

Ok. Santa if you’re listening give us a bit of snow, and turn down the heat a touch.

Thanks much

Bob

Related articles

• Winnipeg’s Winter Wonderland: The Assiniboine Valley Railway. (bahbs.wordpress.com)
• VIDEO | Winnipeg’s balmy winter weather (cbc.ca)
• Winter is coming (bahbs.wordpress.com)
• Where is the snow? (dianushkaphotography.wordpress.com)
• Warm weather prompts warnings in Winnipeg (cbc.ca)

Winnipeg’s Winter Wonderland: The Assiniboine Valley Railway.

Last night Dar and I took our nephew Eric out for a night of Winnipeg Christmas tradition, we took a spin on the Assiniboine Valley Railway.

Assiniboine Valley Railway Logo

In the early 1980’s Bill Taylor, a model train enthusiast with a large property in Charleswood was doing an expansion to his house and had a vision.  He dreamed of taking the 1000 foot HO gauge railway that he had in his basement and moving it outside to create a train mecca in Winnipeg.

Entering the Assiniboine Valley Railway

A train full of happy people zips by in the night

Parents have you gotten your own Elf on the Shelf??

Parents do you have squirmy, ants in the pants children who are impossible to get to bed and constantly act up with all the excitement of the Christmas season?  Well have I got an idea for you, the Elf on the Shelf.

Just a tad creepy.