Tag Archives: Frostbite

Want a taste of winter? Come to Winnipeg.

Just when I thought this world couldn’t get any stranger.  In a bizarre case of the grass must be greener over there, Winnipeg is welcoming visitors from Australia and southern United States who want to experience cold.

Val Keenan and Jean Hyrich will welcome visitors to Winnipeg. (Photo - Matt Preprost: Winnipeg Free Press)

Yes, that’s right cold.  Bone chilling lock yourself in the bedroom and crank up the furnace and hide cold.   The six-day winter exchange is all part of worldwide cultural exchange movement called Friendship Force.  Founded in 1977 by US President Jimmy Carter, Friendship Force joins people around the world in an opportunity to explore different cultures and experience the world in a way travellers seldom get to experience.  By billeting, the travellers get the opportunity to stay in a home hosted by a native of the area.  Thus getting an authentic taste of daily life that staying in a hotel just cannot deliver.

Australian Pam Ferguson with host Jean Hyrich. (Photo - Phil Hossack: Winnipeg Free Press)

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I Hate Winter!

There I said it; I am expecting the RCMP to come pounding on my door minutes after this is posted for the entire world to see. As I stand on my doorstep, shovel in my hand, white from doing battle with Jack Frost.  I scream into the morning light, “I hate you winter!  Go away and leave me alone!”

Buried Axle deep in Snow

But you say Bob you’re Canadian.  You’re supposed to like the snow and the cold and the Frosty the Snowman thing. To you I reply, enough already I give up. Take me away and lock me up somewhere warm, preferably Aruba.

40 years in this frozen hell is enough, if I had killed a man just to watch him die surely I would be granted parole by now. I’ve done my time; I deserve sandy beaches and fruity drinks delivered by girls in bikinis. Don’t I?

Enough Already!

What did I do to deserve this?  I go to work, pay my taxes.  I don’t kick puppies or shove old ladies into oncoming traffic.  It’s only November after all, and by my calendar that means I am locked in this icy wasteland until at least march.  5 months in the hole, 5 months of shovelling the driveway and plugging in my jeep.  5 long months of going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark.

Typical Winter Driving Conditions for Manitoba

Almost 6 weeks of enduring happy shoppers and smiling children waiting for Santa.  Humbug!  Ship me out in a box if that’s what it takes, just as long as it’s somewhere warm.

Beautiful But Deadly

Thanks for listening.  The nice man in the white coat says the shot is going to calm me down and make me sleepy.  “Hello puppies, hello rainbows.  I’m coming Elizabeth, I’m coming.”