Goodbye Mom, I Love You.


It is hard being a kid, full stop.  It is hard growing up and trying to figure out who you are.  But imagine for a second not knowing your own birth mother like many of us can, because we were adopted.

I never knew my birth mother, I was adopted at the age of 6 months by my parents.  Apparently I was and instant hit. I had stuffed animals coming out of my tiny wazoo.  This is not an affront to my birth mother whom ever you are. This is a glorious celebration of who my parents and most specially my mother was.

Soon after I arrived my brother Brent showed up.  Something about having a baby in the house kicked hormones into high gear I guess.  My brother and I were holy terrors in our youth.  I remember I think Brent cracking eggs so mom would get off the phone and I remember trying to play Buggs Bunny chasing Brent down our back alley with an axe till one of our neighbors stopped me.

Given the fact that we must have made mom absolutely crazy being boys she was actually very kind with us. I remember the wooden spoon coming out a few times but I don’t actually remember being hit on the bum with that particular weapon. Even though Brent took a match to it and tried to burn it in half.

One of my happiest kinda memories is swimming in a mud filled ditch after a rainstorm.  I do have photographic documentation but sadly I do not have a digital picture of the moment we were caught.  Mom was putting away groceries and I apparently decided to take my younger brother swimming in a rain filled ditch.  She was furious from what I recall, but silly enough to take pictures of her boys in a mud puddle.  My brother was almost crying.  He was so upset.  Anyway she stripped us down to nothing and gave us a spray with the garden hose.  It was the 70’s after all. Child care tended to be a bit more free range back in those days.

I remember going fishing in very simple boats on the huge Rainy Lake with Mom and Dad. For some reason Brent always caught the first fish normally so we would stick at that honey hole. Mom always used a very simple reel and black line.  Us boys had casting reels and monofilament.  Damn if she didn’t out catch us most of the time. Pulling the line out by hand, getting some sun and most times reading a book pulling in Walleyes.

She was the same at the beach as Brent and I swam in the shallows, lawn chair, tanning, reading a trashy novel.  But we did learn to swim and swim well.  I never feared drowning and never did Brent till his day.

I know I love my Dad in Heaven, but I will always probably miss my Mother more.  She was always there.  She scolded me when I was bad, she fixed me when I was hurt.  She mourned and wailed at my baby brothers death.

I talk about the old days, but there were new days also.  She moved to Windsor to live with my Sister and Brother in Law and eventually my Niece.  I know she loved them all and the little feet running around again.  Calling Amma, Amma do this with me. Come with me.  I sadly missed a great deal of time with my own daughter do to BS and Hate. But my niece Keeliegh fills me up with happy as I know she did with Amma.

There is literally so much I could go on about but Mom gave me the intelligence to want to learn, the drive to tell truth from fiction, and the basic need to be good to our fellow people.

I owe you so much mom, I am finally crying .

Love Bobby

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