Keeping my eye on the prize.


Well I am back.  Nothing really says you’re back in a committed  relationship better than buying appliances!

So for those of you who know me personally, I hope you think of me as a pretty easy-going, laid back guy.   Happy go lucky with a sprinkling of random insanity thrown in for good measure.   Until recently that’s the way I have always viewed myself.  I clung to that persona until recent events have forced me to look deeply into myself and reconcile my actions with my self-image.

I guess that it is a necessary and healthy thing to do that from time to time.   So Bob, you may ask.  What did you come up with looking deep into the mirror of your own soul??   Well lets just say that a fire sale is not in my plans.  There will be no, everything must go, wholesale clearance of who I am.  My values, my goals, my dreams; are all pretty much intact.

What I have decided upon is a clearance sale of all the bullshit I have carried around since I was a young man.  A letting go, if you will, of grievances and injures both real and imagined.   Also, I intend to be more willing and open to change.

I once joked about owning  a vanity licence plate that fit my personality.  It would have read “Status Quo”.  I don’t like change.  But change is inevitable.  Parents pass on into the next life, children grow into young adults… And yes even I, the unchangeable rock, am accepting the fact that I can’t do it all.  I need someone in my life.  I have to trust, and love, and accept  love in return.

Honestly, it scares the crap out of me.  But you know what, that’s OK!  It’s been some time since I took my life and shook it for all it was worth.  Just to see what jiggles loose.

As a child I often would wiggle a loose tooth, holding on to it but not pulling it loose.  Well this time, that tooth has to go, another one will come up in its place.  Healthy and strong, ready to chomp down on a big heaping bite of life.

Thanks for hanging in there with me.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Bob

Authors Note: During a recent bout of insanity I  joined Twitter.  For those of you interested in following my daily adventures my handle is “Winnipegblogger”

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